Thursday, May 04, 2006

An Important Message from an Anonymous Commenter

I just read this on Americablog (which is wierd, I hardly ever read comments on that site because there's usually a hundred of them) and I found Comedy GOLD. GOLD I tell you:

I support Bush. I support Bush because I believe that he is a good Christian man. I support Bush because he’s a man of old-time morals. Bush may not have any fancy new-fangled Ivy-league “credentials”, and he may not use fancy words, but that’s just fine with me. Bush is a true defender of traditional American values. He is always determined to do the right thing. He is a man of his word. He’s a straight shooter all the way who loves his country. He’s a simple man, a plain spoken man, and a man who comes from modest means. Therefore he represents all us real Americans. Bush looks to be the kind of man that ordinary folks could sit down and have beer with, and therefore he is a man you can trust, and the kind of man we want in the White House. He may not have a lot of book smarts, but that’s just fine because a bunch of fancy book smarts ain’t gonna do no nothin to help us ole’ boys who gotta work for a livin. I supported Bush because I believe in the right to own and shoot guns, cause gun ownership and shootin is our right, and he ain’t gonna allow no wussy-ass screamin liberals to come down here from NY to take away our guns. I also supported Bush because I believe in the bible, and I heard that Bush loves Jesus. I fail to understand why the lessons of the bible aren’t taught in the schools. But at least we can count on Bush to stop the gays from coming down here from California to take over our towns and communities. And at least we can count on Bush to stop the gays and the liberals from taking over our churches and invading our family home. And we can count on Bush to stop the terrorists from attacking or treasured values. Bush is the only man strong enough to proudly stand up and defend the country and defend the flag from the terrorists and the liberals. I also supported Bush because I drive a Ford truck, and I believe in the right to own and drive Ford trucks, cause driven Ford trucks is our right, and Bush aint gonna allow no wussy-ass tree-huggin liberals to come down here from NY and California to take away my truck and make me drive some small-ass hybrid car.
It's scary to think that these are the people who vote and keep King George in power.

Update: I realize it's very possible that this was a joke - and I cross posted this on my Myspace blog with that caveat, but somehow didn't put it on here. In any event, it doesn't change the fact that this is the real thought process of a significant amount of people who support President Bush.


David said...

You know that comment is a joke, right?

Ryan Adams said...

LOL I was hoping!! But, chances are, people really do think like that.

Sachem Head said...

As a worm farmer in the Errol Morris film "Vernon, Florida" once said, "Them books is wrong."

joe schlieff the mad said...

I support Hillary Clinton. I support Hillary Clinton because I believe that she's a good atheist woman. She may not not have a hard-earned State University Education like me, but the fact she graduated from Wellesley must mean she's smarter, because everyone who graduates from Wellesley (or Yale) must be smarter than me. She's a total fighter for women's rights, because if we don't constantly defend our rights, all the women and gays and minorities will instantly find themselves in internment camps faster than a japanese-american in california during WWII. Hillary Cliton understands how the lil guy feels, because she too was in my position, she wasn't, but she totally understands me. Not like those ice-cold conservative a-holes who don't understand anyone but rich people. Hillary Clinton understands rich people, because she too...wait...she understands POOR PEOPLE, because of her great empathy. I support Hillary Clinton because she supports lots of taxes and socialism. If everyone gets taxed a lot, then mabye someday there won't be any rich people, and then there won't be conservatives, and then nobody will stand in our way to DESTROY THE FORD CORPERATION! MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!

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