Tuesday, September 12, 2006

The Herald's Trivial Pursuit

Since yesterday's Herald Op-Eds were a real barrel of laughs, I figure 'let the games continue!.' The Herald submitted to the public two endorsements yesterday and neither of them were yet for Kerry Healey or Reed Hillman. It's clear that the Herald's pursuit of truth is trivial, at best. Therefore, let's play a game of Trivial pursuit. I'm going to name off a few choice quotes from yesterday's editorials and readers will have to guess who they apply to.

1. Which candidate was the Herald discussing when it said, "There is something enormously attractive about a candidate who has spent much of [his or her] career in the business world and then decides it's time to give back to the community through public service?"

A. Jill Stein
B. Chris Gabrieli
C. Andrea Silbert
D. Deb Goldberg
E. Deval Patrick

Answer: If any of you said Chris Gabrieli, for helping thousands of children in this state get free after school programs after being a venture capitalist for years, you're wrong. Deborah Goldberg is the correct answer because she volunteered once at the local soup kitchen.

2. According to the Herald, which candidate scores highest on ""trust, leadership and experience?"

A. Chris Gabrieli
B. Deval Patrick
C. Tim Murray
D. Tom Reilly
E. John Bonifaz

Answer: If any of you thought Tim Murray, for having been the Mayor of Worcester for more than five years, you're wrong. Apparently, Worcester's success doesn't translate into leadership experience. The correct answer is Tom Reilly because he's proven himself trustworthy by lying to everyone when he said he never looked at Marie St. Fluer's tax records and his certainly showed a lot of experience by not convicting anyone from the Big Dig fiasco or getting this state's money back.

3. Which candidate does the following quote apply to, "A governor needs to have strength of character?"

A. Deval Patrick, he took advantage of some luck in society and pulled himself out of poverty.
B. Chris Gabrieli, he took his dead father's failing company and turned it into a multi-million dollar success story.
C. Tom Reilly, he thinks we should have Lt. Governors who don't pay their taxes.

Answer: If any of you said C, congratulations!

4. Whose "local experience would make [he or she] the perfect ambassador to cities and towns, a first rate trouble-shooter on municipal issues, and a well-informed voice for communities at the very highest level of government?"

A. Tim Murray. He's been the Mayor of Worcester for over five years and has helped that city grow, despite the trends of losing jobs and population throughout Massachusetts.
B. Deval Patrick. He's worked with communities in the past and would know how to do it in the future.
C. Tom Reilly. He lives on the second-floor of a two story apartment building. And he's regular folk, like you or I.
D. Deborah Goldberg. She's been on Brookline's Board of Selectmen, while she exaggerated her role in the city, she probably wasn't a terrible Selectwoman.
E. Andrea Silbert. She's on her town's environmental taskforce.

Answer: If any of you said A, Tim Murray, I'm very sorry. His terms as Mayor of Worcester, a city that's shown a lot of progress over the past few years, is trumped by Goldberg's tenure at Brookline - a community that has historically done well for itself. The correct answer is D.

5. Which candidate has "a leg up for the economic development portfolio?"

A. Tim Murray, he helped a whole entire city grow.
B. Deval Patrick, he's sat on the boards of multiple successful companies.
C. Chris Gabrieli, he's helped his own company become massively profitable and helped dozens of other companies create thousands of jobs each through early investments.
D. Andrea Silbert, she built an entire non-profit dedicated to economic development and job creation - 14,000 jobs, to be exact.
E. Deb Goldberg, she has a Masters degree and everything!

Answer: If anyone selected option E, you're right! A Master's degree clearly trumps Worcester's progress and Andrea Silbert's job creation. Furthermore, it blows Chris Gabrieli out of the water... after all, he was just a multi-million dollar venture capitalist!


Mass Marrier said...

LOL. Funny and too true. Brilliant recap, Ryan.

You have to wonder what the Herald think tank or maybe think cup would have done if the Globe tapped another candidate. While it clearly waited like the short-pants kiddy it is, the Herald had to pick somebody different. Na na na na.

Lynne said...

Just wait, I bet the Lowell Sun endorsement is even more funny...LOL

Not that I'm uh, bashing my hometown newspaper. Heheh.

I do know that the candidates (well, Patrick and Gabrieli anyway) have sat with the ed. board. In fact, when Patrick came out, the street started buzzing...Sun's office is downtown, and people got out of their cars and pointed from across the street and wanted to meet the candidate.

When Gabs came out, I hear, he mostly looked confused and looked around for his driver, who he finally had to call. You see, his campaign goofed and sent him to the Sun on the wrong day or time. It happens to the best campaigns, but still, sorta funny in a way, since down the street is a bonified Gabrieli OFFICE and such.

Joe said...

I like the ones where "her" is in the question and two of the choices are men. I wish my accounting tests were like that.

Ryan Adams said...

Mass, I thought it was funny the Herald waited too, although I'm pretty sure they would have went with Reilly anyway - I have decided whether that's because they actually like him the best or think he'd be the only one who would have a real hard challenge beating Kerry Healey. Either way, the fact that they pretty much made crap up for the editorial that applied to other people better was pretty hilarious. It's also ironic that they credit Reilly for his service to Massachusetts - while also crediting Goldberg for her private sector bona fides. I mean, if that's what they like, maybe they should have gone with Gabs? Or if they wanted service to the state, maybe they should have gone with Murray?

There's just absolutely no logic in it - making it comedy gold and too easy to mock.


Did he really show up on the wrong day? Yikes... I could see running late... but still. Hehe... maybe that's what Bill Galvin should have said - "I missed the debate because I thought it was on a different day." LOL


You sadly beat me to the edit! I literally was *just* going to edit that.

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