Saturday, December 30, 2006's Most Emailed Stories

...are all about marriage equality, in some form or another. You have to go to the more detailed page to find any non-gay related stories at all - and even then, the next most popular stories are hundreds of emails behind.

I don't get it. What is this fixation on all things gay marriage? I've written many blogs about gay marriage since this summer, especially after the primary election was over. But, the truth is I don't really like writing about it. It's never been my biggest issue. If it weren't under attack, I probably wouldn't blog about it at all. I'd much rather be writing (and reading) about health care, but ironically the health care people are all about gay marriage.

I turn on the TV and have to hear about how John Edwards isn't "quite there yet" on gay marriage - but don't worry, he knows it's an important issue and is giving it a lot of thought. /snore off

How pretentious! Because of this thing called "faith," people think they have the right to determine whether or not two consenting adults have the right to marry each other - whether or not it's a faith everyone shares (which it isn't). The miraculous thing about gay marriage is that - when it comes to the only state to have it - no one really gives a damn. Except for an increasingly-less-vocal and very small minority, no one else really cares.

And that's exactly as it should be.

So let's stop emailing stories about marriage equality on and start emailing the really important stories, like this one. Let's end this pointless, stupid and somewhat bitter debate on marriage equality - and focus on more important things. When it comes down to it, gay marriage shouldn't be any more important to American society than my cousin Amy and her husband Pete's wedding last August - which is to say, important to everyone who went, but not even on the register of anyone else.


Just to clarify - It's not that gay marriage is unimportant. It's that certain people have made it important, when it should be over and done with. I'd rather be spending my energy elsewhere, but we're all forced to defend our rights instead of expanding on them or other important issues going on in society.


Laurel said...

Ryan, I'm a bit surprised to hear you say that gay marriage isn't all that important. It is an enormous civil rights infringement, and as such should be top on any American's to-do list. Too many gays (including me) were cowed into accepting last-class status until Goodridge woke us up to the fact that we were thanking the heteros for the few crumbs they threw us. We are not dogs. We are complete people. No hetero should be thanked for 'giving' to us what they have been illegally and/or unethically witholding from us for so long. Now that we and they are waking up to this, um, oops, little omission in civil rights distribution, it should be the first item of business, and screamed about from the hilltops until it is redressed. Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness are supposedly a priority around this place.

Lynne said...

I think you miss Ryan's point.

Most people in MA have already accepted it should be a right. That this right should be as mundane as other rights have become - interracial marriage, voting rights, everything which is fought for, if it's just, should become part of our normal course of living. For most people, it HAS reached that level of comfort, that this right is fair and just. Except for a stupid, loud minority who keeps wanting to pick at a wound already healed.

And because of them, people like me and Ryan and you have to keep fighting the same battle over and over. We have to keep being loud and spend energy on that which should just...exist.

But for that idiot minority, we could be moving on to problems that AREN'T solved yet.

Laurel said...

Lynn, yes, we all want it to be over and we all want to have time for other equalliy important issues. No argumemnt there. But it *isn't* over yet just because we're tired. So I think it is careless writing to say "So let's stop emailing stories about marriage equality on and start emailing the really important stories." That to me is not at all appropriate, especially now when we are facing another possible 2-4 years of this crap. We should be emailing nothing BUT marriage stories until the deal is sealed. Then fine, we can move on without looking back.

I say again that there is too much internalized last-class citizenship in us already. Don't support that mindset by minimizing the enormous importance of equality for LGBT people. It drove me crazy to head Deval repeat over and over "lets move on to important issues." Excuse me sir, my equal rights ARE a highly importnat issue. It is insulting to minimize.

Laurel said...

p.s. When marriage equality is secure I will not begrudge anyone moving on and not looking back. I however, will be proclaiming loud and long about the momentousness of what has happened: equality has been eeked outfor a loathed minority. MA has lived up to the ideals of the Declaration and both constitutions. This is something to be proud of and talk up for generations. I will be email stories about it for years. (frankly, I'll hae to, because MA is only the 1st of 50, and the others are much more troublesome frontiers. But the job isn't over until all 50 agree).

joe said...

Laurel, you still miss the point. If you keep acting like it's some huge deal and yelling and screaming and blah blah then people will keep thinking about it. Ryan says people shouldn't be thinking about it because it should be a societal norm just like any other thing. And about your'll be doing your movement a disservice by spending the next few years rubbing it in the face of people who don't support gay marriage the fact that you won. All you would be doing is invoking the bitterness of people who simply don't agree with you. I would much rather see people such as yourself accept the fact that your hard-fought battle was won with humility and respect. If you continue to resonate songs of the glorious splendor of your victory instead of moving on with life as a complete member of society, then all you will do is achieve equality under the law alone, because people will never see you as equals with that type of selfish behavior. Don't you think the other states would have an easier time stomaching gay marriage if they saw no million man marches, no momentous changes or screaming lesbians in the state house? If they saw life moving on as if nothing happend, as if this was a norm the entire time, don't you think other people would say "well, I guess it really isn't that big a deal."

I don't mean to sound like an asshole, but I'm just trying to give you a different perspective to think from.

Ryan Adams said...

Laurel, I was being ambiguous. Sorry =(

Let me clarify what I meant -

It's not that its unimportant. It's that certain people have made it important, when it should be over and done with.

I will, of course, vociferously defend my rights from those who would take them away. My gut insticts say, though, that our foes have already lost and its best to ignore them after January 2nd and make them look very, very small. If we lose the vote, though, everything changes. In the meantime, I'll hopefully be seeing you tomorrow at the rally =)

laurel said...

Thanks for the clarification, Ryan. It kills me, but I won't be able to be there tomorrow. Not in body anyway, but certainly in spirit. Good luck, and enjoy the intreague of the day. Hopefully this will be the last of it and we can have the luxury of ignoring those little people who keep messing with our rights! Oh! And Happy New year to you Ryan!

Anonymous said...

I can't BELIEVE I found someone else who noticed that Boston.Com's most e-mailed list has been hijacked by those with an agenda. I have been on them about this since the Deval Patrick campaign was allowed to hijack the list in a similar manner, ensuring for weeks that the "Deval Patrick for Governor" editorial was number one on the list followed by several anti-Kerry Healey articles.

I notice also that your blog post on the subject was written on December 30th, and here it is now January 29th and those very same articles are there, with the addition of a poorly written letter to the editor on the subject.

That the Globe would allow Boston.Com to be hijacked by those with a political agenda - setting aside the fact that it may indeed be their own agenda - is an outrage. Let them take out a paid advertisement like everybody else.

And they wonder why they're not making money . . .

About Ryan's Take