The Herald's Star Magazine

I'm so glad I checked the Herald's website today, so I could keep up to date on all the front-paged gossip. So, Tom Brady and his gal pal Bridget Moynahan have been having "relationship problems," according to a Brady-spy, and ah, like, that's why we were crushed playing Miami last week. Like, for real!

It’s been well reported here that Brady and his lady’s coupling has had its ups and downs - but mostly ups - since they hooked up in late 2003. And fans of the couple, including the Track, have been eagerly awaiting the Big Announcement.

Oh noes, the big announcment is that they're, like, breaking up! Fans are wondering what genius-coach Bill Bellichek, like, thinks. And Corey Dillon. And will, like, Robert Kraft be angry or anything like that?

Like, oh my god! Tom Brady's single!

Seriously, does this trash really sell newspapers? With massively declining readership, shouldn't the Boston Herald try something new - for example, real journalism? Who knows, maybe the antitode to declining readership is something a little bit more old-fashioned than Hollywood Access.