Monday, December 18, 2006

Hey, Cardinal O'Malley

Hey, Your Eminence, what's up? How's it hanging, Cardinal O'Malley? I imagine, as you wake up today, you're going to hear a bit of news coming out of Worcester. You see, a woman was allegedly assaulted by the man in the picture standing to your right, Larry Cirignano. She was a fan of marriage equality and Larry Cirignano wasn't. Unfortunately for you, Cardinal, good 'ol Larry is head of Catholic Citizens Group, an organization that you've happily encouraged to hold rallies across the state. And Larry allegedly physically assaulted a woman just moments after he finished speaking at one of those rallies on Saturday, in Worcester.

I'd imagine, deep down somewhere in your heart, you're probably a little disappointed. After all, you did write on your blog about the need to welcome gays and lesbians into the Catholic Church (even as you discriminate against them). And I actually believe you mean it. Now, I know you aren't the Bishop of Worcester, but your Archdiocese still holds sway over Worcester nonetheless. So, whatcha think about last weekend's breakdown by Larry Cirignano?

Are you going to come out against the nice old chap who helped organize all those rallies for you? Violence against gay people isn't something you have supported in the past, so are you going to prove your love for all things gay (except the sex, relationships, romantic love and every other important aspect of being gay) by publicly rebuking what Larry did - and asking him to step down?

You've previously tried to be welcoming (in your own way) to gay people in the past. I'm curious, will your actions meet your rhetoric? Because, sadly, so far your actions have fell short of your words. The sheep, on Saturday, were dressed up in wolves clothing and people were feeling a little uncomfortable in taking part of the democratic process. And with good reason; someone could have been hurt. I thought this was all supposed to be about Democracy - you know, "let the people vote?" Isn't violence anathema to the democratic process (and Catholicism, for that matter)?

While we're on the topic, the man on the left to you in that photo happens to be the former Mayor of Boston and Ambassador to the Vatican, Ray Flynn. He's been taking part in these rallies too. I think you and he may just be friends nowadays and that's kind of sweet. I'm touched. Since these rallies are all about Democracy - and not about marriage equality at all - I thought I'd ask you a quick question. You see, Mayor Flynn once supported the very thing he protests against now - subverting the alleged right of people to have an "up or down vote" in a Constitutional Convention. Isn't that kind of hypocritical? As Cardinal of America's largest Archdiocese, I think you would be somewhat of an expert on the subject, so I'm interested on your thoughts.

Also, isn't it kind of weird that he tried to subvert those rights back then in order to block citizens from voting on an amendment to ban abortion? I mean, you're not a big fan of abortion either. Heck, isn't that even worse to you than a little man 2 man action? Probably not, because gay sex is just sick! I mean anal penetration!? Eww. To you, it's sicker than soon-to-be babies being sucked out of tubes, right? It's way worse than a wet vag, but then again you probably haven't had any experience with either. At least I hope not, cheating on your celibacy with God is a definite no-no and, after all, you are a Cardinal.

So watcha think about Saturday? A lot went down. Ray, friend to the Vatican and ally in your cause to surpress the rights of minorities in Massachusetts, was a hypocrite. And one of your own lay leaders in your quest to end the rights of a minority, who helped organize all these mini-rallies across the state, knocked an innocent (straight!) girl to the ground. She hit her head on the pavement! Ouch! If you wanted my advice (and I really recommend it, as someone who's still sympathetic to Catholics in Massachusetts), I suggest you apologize for the event and - at the very least - privately ask Larry to step down. Then you should write a nice little op-ed or do a short interview with Nat Jacobsin on how it's important for the forces of evil your allies in defeating marriage equality to play nice at rallies. It'd be a nice gesture, even if it's still a wrong position. People shouldn't have to worry about Catholics beating up other protesters; I'm sure we can all agree on that. Thanks for the time, Em. (Can I call you Em?)



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