Saturday, December 23, 2006

Mitt Romney's Eulogy

Dearly departed, we gather here today to celebrate what was our part-time Governor's political career. Almost four years ago, he came to Massachusetts a fresh face. He was a moderate, who was a bigger supporter of gay rights than Ted Kennedy. There was no difference between his stance on abortion and Shannon O'Brien's. He was for high environmental standards before he was against them. He saved the Olympics in Utah. He was a religious minority who won, as a Mormon, in a deeply Catholic state.

When he came to Massachusetts, it was with great fanfare. He was going to solve the impending fiscal crisis. He was going to go across the country and lure businesses here with the same sort of magnatism that attracted him to run for Governor in a state he didn't even live in. He was going to rebuild the Republican Party in Massachusetts so there would be a two party system again.

Sadly, he took a wrong turn. When Republicans realized he wasn't even a Republican in 1992, they realized their frustrations weren't ill founded. But it totally wasn't his fault. Republicans are never at fault. It's always someone else, making Mitt's downfall all the more tragic. He'll surely be missed.


joe said...

He did solve the financial crisis...turning huge defecit into nice suprlus. Mabye we should have elected him Comptroller.

Ryan Adams said...

We have a difference of an opinion. Solve, to me, means working the budget in a creative enough away to keep safe core programs. Trashing the UMASS budget violated that, big time.

Anonymous said...

A state he didn't even live in? That argument is so stale. He did live here, he's had a house in Belmont for years. The only reason he wasn't here for a period prior to running for Governor was b/c he was in Salt Lake City fixing the Olympics. Just b/c he owns homes outside the state and has spent time outside the state (kind of like your boyfriend Patrick) does not mean that he didn't live here.

Anonymous said...


"He did solve the financial crisis". Sure did, and he didn't even raise any income taxes.

But let's not talk about the 700 million in hidden taxes and fees then those cut to towns where we need to raise property taxes by 32% to offset the shortfall.

Peter Porcupine said...

Hmmm....if we realized he wan't a Republican in 1992, why did we nominate and elect him ten years later?

Ryan - if these antique and paltry charges are the best shots that the BMG'ers can come up with, I'm reserving by room in DC for the inauguration now!

Ryan Adams said...

lol PP, we'll have to see who's right 2 years from now.

Anonymous said...

Ryan, if you paid more attention to the "I hate Massachusetts, get me the hell out of this dump" tour, you'd know that even though Mitt hasn't spent 4 hours here since '86, home is where the hate is. As long as we attract other out-of-state gay bashers who want to use us for their own agenda, Mitt lives here with us, regardless of where he actually resides, declares residency, or pays taxes.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm....if we realized he wan't a Republican in 1992, why did we nominate and elect him ten years later?

Hmmm....maybe because you finally woke up and realized that this is a Democratic state where being a Republican is seen as being a very bad thing? And that the only Republican who can win is one who pretends not to be one?

That wasn't so hard to figure after all.

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