Ben Nelson's Demand List

According to my super secret sources in Washington, D.C., these are the new additional demands Nelson's made after lying about his agreement to the medicare buy-in compromise.

• To reach a compromise with pro-choice senators, instead of allowing women to purchase insurance from the national exchange which would include abortion coverage, everyone gets a free coat hanger.
• MangerCare: In order to reach the goal of cutting costs from this country's health care system, instead of going to the hospital to deliver a baby, a network of mangers will be established across the country. If it was good enough for Jesus...
• Ban Lollipops at Doctors Offices. Given that those are expenses for medical offices which would increase the cost of health care, lollipops will now be banned at the doctor's office.
• Recycle, Reuse. Why throw out those dirty needles when they can be used again and again and again? It would be good for the environment, too.